Self-Care Tips

Here’s a handout that I’ve written up for my clients, it outlines some tips and perspectives for self-care that I find can be helpful for those at the beginning of learning what self-care means. Self-care looks different for everyone, and can change depending on the time and place and context you're using it in. Picking up self-care is a bit like learning to cook, there’s a thousand ways to do it, but only some are going to be really satisfying or manageable for you, and what you want one day will be different from other days. So this is to help speed up the process of learning your first few recipes!

Safety

Cultivate a sense of safety, avoid people or situations that feel emotionally or mentally dangerous to you (read: overwhelming, overstimulating, difficult, tense, etc.) and instead spend time in places where you can relax and let go of worries.

Comfort

Prioritize your comfort: physical, mental, and emotional. Whether that means eating certain foods, wearing certain clothes, using a blanket, drinking something warm, or whatever else comes to mind.

Routine

Some people find routine comforting, if this is true for you lean into it and utilize it. Sometimes, though, breaking routine can be a way for us to re-set and relax. Listen to your instincts and do what makes sense in the moment.

Good Emotions

Use activities that are likely to leave you feeling good. When emotional energies are low, easy-to-digest positive emotions can be rejuvenating. When mental energies are low, easy engagement is also good. Use familiar feel-good movies, books, songs, and activities.

Disengage

Self-care sometimes means taking a break from the outside world, especially the stressful parts like the news, difficult relationships, our jobs, or responsibilities. If these things are having a detrimental effect on mental health (or not a supportive one) our minds might benefit from taking a break. If you need to, give yourself permission to do less and focus on worrying about yourself.

Balance physical and mental health

Sometimes taking care of your physical health can be really good for mental health, things like eating well, taking a bath or exercising can give us the much needed rush of endorphins. However, we tend to put a lot of pressure on meeting these needs which can create stress. Sometimes letting ourselves be momentarily ‘unhealthy’ is the healthiest thing.

Processing

Emotional and mental self-care means attending to what comes up, that’s the opposite of suppressing it. Suppressing thoughts and emotions can become a normal part of life and our coping mechanisms if we never have the time and energy to sit with ourselves. But if you're prioritizing self-care then that’s a great opportunity to let these things come to the surface and be expressed. Try putting it into words: have a conversation with yourself (out loud or silently), write it down or talk it out with someone you trust. While doing this it’s important to avoid ruminating - this should feel like a release, not a build up.

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