Energy:

Low energy these days is an extremely common concern. A quarter of adults suffer from fatigue and a tenth of adults suffer from chronic fatigue (according to the National Library of Medicine). Low energy that doesn’t seem to have a reason or solution can be frustrating, and have drastic impacts on mental health. The first thing to consider is - it’s not your fault. It’s easy and natural to think, after long stretches of low energy, that the problem is you. Why wouldn’t it be? Everyone else seems to be doing fine, if not better. When we think like this, however, we’re forgetting some important things. First, most people are hiding their struggles just as much as you are. We can’t always trust what we see, or what people show us, because it’s often a cover up. And there’s just as much a chance that the person you're thinking about or talking with is just as tired (or lonely or nervous or stressed) as you. We’ve all got our stories and back stories, and we all have our masks. That’s why comparing ourselves to other people so rarely works in our favour.

If we assume that everyone is tired some of the time, that changes the picture, and the blame. Surely it can’t be only my fault if it isn’t just me feeling it. Society and culture play their part too. Our culture teaches us that to be tired or stressed or unproductive is a failure and makes us less worthy. We use shame and judgement to try and motivate ourselves and each other which affirms that we can and should be doing better. But feeling tired isn’t a choice, it’s a consequence. And being less productive because of it isn’t something we have control over. A lot of the time the more we tell ourselves to suck it up and get on with things, the more tired we become. (Kristen Neff has done amazing work demonstrating how this kind of strategy doesn’t work.) For better or worse, we live in a capitalistic society which values productivity above all else. It pushes us to our limits and fails to ask us what we need to perform well. That’s going to be exhausting for everyone - and it is.

So how do we cope with it? 

I often find it can be helpful, for myself and my clients, to complicate our view of ‘tiredness’. Over time the word ‘tired’ can become a catchall that means everything and nothing. That’s not helpful for finding solutions or creating change. So challenge yourself to use a different word. ‘Tired’ has a lot of negative connotations that tell us we can’t do something or that things are unenjoyable to do. But ‘Sleepy’ tells us that some things (reading a book, calling a friend, going for a walk) are doable and enjoyable. It also tells us that we can do our usual stuff in new ways (going slow and taking breaks) that are good for us and our energy. So play around with different words to see if they fit better. Maybe try writing your own version of this table: