Motivation:

We tend to think about motivation as something we have control over. And we tend to act like how much control we have over our motivation decides our self-worth. If the more motivated we are the more productive and organized we are – the more useful we are to larger societal systems. But we actually have much less say then we realize over motivation. And a lack of motivation can influence much more of your life than how much you're getting done. It gets in the way of tasks at home and work, yes, but it can also get in the way of good communication, self-growth, mental health, and many other things. Often when we’re feeling down and stuck and guilty a lack of motivation is a big part of the reason why.

The ‘L’ Word and Procrastination

All my clients know that I don’t like the word ‘lazy’. I tell them, it’s one of those words that doesn’t mean anything. It’s a filler word, and barrier word. It isn’t informative, it doesn't tell us anything useful. When I ask questions like, ‘what’s getting in the way?’ and a client answers, ‘well, I’m just lazy.’ That answer doesn’t help either of us learn what’s actually the problem. It only tells me that the client is blaming themselves.

We use the word lazy as a way to criticize ourselves or others. We use it in hopes that it will motivate us to do better. But laziness implies a lack of worth which creates shame. And shame, as I've said before, doesn’t motivate us. Shame weighs us down and gets us stuck. Shame is a paralyzer when what we’re looking for is an energizer. ‘Lazy’ isn’t an old word, it came around during the industrial revolution, when capitalism began sinking its roots in, when we started valuing productivity and progress above everything else. Before then, laziness as a concept just wasn’t relevant to human life. Who cared if someone did less or took a break? That sort of thing didn't have any bearing. To learn more I encourage you to take a look at Devon Price’s Laziness Does Not Exist.

Procrastination happens when we are lacking motivation. We are the most creative and productive when we have rewards or consequences nudging us along. Often, when we find ourselves lacking motivation when the cost-benefit balance is leaning too far to one side. We all need rewards, and we all need challenges (though what the best ratio is changes from person to person). And we are often expected to perform without. Then, when we realize we can’t, we blame ourselves. And we push and push and push, and while some find ways to work without sufficient motivation, we all run the risk of exhausting ourselves. And we feel guilty about that, too. Admitting to tiredness is like admitting to a fatal flaw - and the cycle starts up all over again.  

Internal and External Motivation

I’m pulling this next bit right from the psychology textbooks. And while that isn’t my usual style, I actually find this useful. There are different kinds of motivation, and knowing how to identify them can equip you with insight and strategies to better manage it. External motivation is the motivation we’re most familiar with. It’s motivation that sources from outside of ourselves: other people, cultural expectations, cause-and-effect. External motivation helps us in our school work and our social interactions. We know to prioritize these things because, if we don’t, the consequences will come at us from the outside in.

Internal motivation sources from within us. It’s the feeling of satisfaction or drive that pushes us towards pursuits that don’t benefit people so much as they benefit ourselves. We use this kind of motivation more in creative and artistic doings. We feel it the most when we’re in flow or hyper-fixation. Internal motivation is somewhat devalued in our society - it’s less beneficial to other people and can go a long way to empower ourselves, both of which are threatening to certain cultural systems. So we tend to discount it, criticize it, or out-right reject it. 

In my experience, motivation works best when we have a good balance of both internal and external motivation. Students and employees who perform the best are ones that care about the impact their work has on others and who genuinely enjoy doing it. Too much external motivation and productivity starts feeling meaningless. Too much internal motivation and we might lose sight of the bigger picture. And if a healthy balance simply isn’t possible, then at least understanding that motivation might come less readily in that situation can go a long way at creating a sense of resilience. We don’t need motivation so much if we believe we can tolerate the difficult task set before us. But that requires acknowledgement that tasks are, in fact, rather difficult to tolerate.

Making Motivation

So how do we cope when motivation is low? Step one is self-care. I bet that advice is starting to feel repetitive, but there’s a reason for that. Self-care is the thing we are sorely lacking and the thing that we desperately need. Self-care helps us feel rested and fulfilled which primes us for healthy motivation. 

Step two is acceptance. Also not very satisfying advice, but important nonetheless. To work with motivation we need to understand what it is and how it works. That means coming to terms with the reality that we can’t make motivation out of thin air, and we don’t get to dictate when it happens. We can use it when we have it and rest when we don’t. This approach saves a lot of time and energy, but it requires what, to most people, will be a painful amount of giving up control. Acceptance also means that a task may not feel good at all, productivity is often uncomfortable and unsatisfying, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

Step three is checking your cost-benefit balance. If you aren’t getting enough out of the proposed task (maybe someone else told you to do it but you don’t see the point) or it seems boring then any attempt to create motivation is going to be a lot less effective. Ask yourself why you want to do this thing in the first place. Use that as an opportunity to remind yourself why this is important to you, or to re-evaluate your decision. Consider your internal/external motivation ratio and let it inform your strategy. Ask yourself what would make the task more tempting - an additional challenge or reward can go a long way. And when these things don’t occur naturally we might have to make our own. Be your own motivation coach: create stop points and deadlines and rewards, take breaks and pace yourself, be firm about cheating.

Step four is building momentum. Once you’re ready to do a thing, understand that the first hump is the hardest. So start with something small and manageable: write just the outline of a paper, jot down some ideas for your research plan, make a list of the things that need done around the house, or just start with the easiest task. We tend to get in our own way by telling ourselves we need to start with the most difficult thing or take on everything at once. But the beginning of the process is when we are lacking in motivation the most, so this strategy is almost sure to fail. Instead, break it down, and break it down again.

Once the first bit of the task is finished you’ll likely find the next is much easier. Suddenly the plan isn’t this overwhelming and nebulous thing in the air, it’s a grounded and realistic process. It’s doable. And, you’ve already finished that hardest part: getting started. This is what I call building momentum. Motivation needs momentum. So once you have it, let it pull you. Try not to rush it or slow it down – follow your instincts. And if you find momentum just isn’t happening, then this is probably a sign that something in your thinking needs tweaking, or you haven’t rested enough. Accepting our limits can be frustrating, but listening to your body and instincts is a much better alternative to burning out. And remember, recovery from overwhelm often takes longer and more energy than we’d like. But we don’t get to decide those sorts of things.